Discount Dildos

So I was a little drunk and kinda stoned
and I had an extra 20 bucks
so I thought I should get a dildo
because organic cucumbers  and zucchinis
eventually decay
=|
Anyways, I was pretty loaded but coherent
and I walked into this dyke dildo store in my neighborhood
Its a serious dyke shop
so I was a bit scared
but I trudged on in
There was this pretty little skinny dyke girl with one of those hitler hairdos that thom yorke sings about running the shop
I asked her if boys were allowed
And she sniggered a little and said yes with a slightly sarcastic wry little smile
so I'm standing there
I got about $30 I can spend
but I guess I'm in a "boutique"
because I'm standing there
trying to focus(because I have extremely bad eyesight and no glasses)
I'm looking ahead of me
and the isle has about 5 dildos
in presentation displays
and these things are REALLY scary
they've got veins, and extruding flanges
the perfect textured rubber/neoprene with the throbbiest vibes inside them, or so the display promised
hardcore jerk off science
I was sooooo scared.
There was no way one of those little ribbed things was going anywhere near my butt.
and they where all over $350.
I had sticker shock on top of the ribbed vein science prod fear.
I looked at the pretty little sourpuss beside me
she was amused
There was no way I would ever let her peg me
She just wasn't gentle at all
anyway
I said
"Don't you have a Discount Dildo section?"
A huge smile crossed her sour little face
"oh, yes, over here."
She points
I look
There is one dildo there
about 5.5 inches, very slim
with a base, and wires running into it
She says
"Its $50"
I look at it
then her
"That's a LOT more expensive than a cucumber"
I said.

As I walked out
I wondered drunkenly if it was just a front for laundering drug money with fake $400 dildo sales.
Oh well. I know there's a $10 one a little Sister's
its just plastic...