I was raised until my teens by an uber-christian mom, then I became an atheist.
I had lots of those bible stories pumped into my head though, seeing as christian brainwashing of children is still legal in Canada.
Later I began to try and figure out the metaphors in many of the various myths that I studied.
I came to this conclusion many years ago, and thought I would share it with you.
The metaphors of the Garden in Genesis are kind of murky,
but here goes...
So, first off
Eve wasn't the first woman.
Lillith was. And she took off with Adams neighbor, a black man.
His name was Sam. Sam was actually a really nice guy but Adam was too racist to stay friends with them. And he was pretty bitter, so they didn't keep in touch
Adam couldn't handle that, that lilli needed a bigger wiener than he had,
so he whined to god and got a replacement.
That was Eve.
So, after a few years of married bliss, eating lots of fruit and having sex in the garden, Eve got bored. So she started thinking about another neighbor and wondered if she could get Adam to allow it.
She couldn't figure out how. Then one day, she was giving Adam a blow job, and when he came she took some of the seed from the serpent, the semen from his dick, and puts some in his mouth and made him swish it around.
Adam's reaction was basically, "that doesn't taste too bad at all!"
So now that Adam had eaten from the tree of life, the fruit, the seed, he started thinking about his wife and the neighbor and himself
(secretly he sometimes thought of Sam too!)
And eventually Eve convinced Adam to have a threesome with one of their white jewish neighbors who just magically appeared from nowhere.
Adam was a happy cat. The serpent, his neighbors dick, filled him with joy when he drank the seed, and he and Eve were very happy with this new arrangement.
Of course, the god dude was homophobic and he had a tantrum like all fathers whose son's learn that dick isn't really bad at all.
But no amount of counseling or group communication and mediation could cool dad down, and like every christian father since, he expelled his children from his home.
That's what the story is about. I might have some details wrong, but essentially,
That's what happened.
And that is why, regardless of hate speech and anti-discrimination laws, the christians hate all fags and actively attack them and bully them.
Because they want to go back to dad's house, but he hates fags.
