I walk out to the bus
There's two cops on the bus.
There's only 10 people on the double length bus.
When you write about the apocalypse
suddenly police appear
Overly interested in ME.
And they try to assure us
it's not becoming a police state
writer's aren't labeled terrorists
20 years riding the bus
we never really needed transit police
certainly not two of them
to protect us from the poor
who try to get rides for free?
then why is he actually standing
near ME.
It's funny how there were no police
when a group of pedophilia peddling gangsters
tried to drug and kill me
(I've spoken with police since
about it
they laughed it off
like a missing prostitute)
This has been going on for a while
for over a year actually, almost two
I get dogged on the train all the time
maybe I'm just their practice target
preparing for the olympics
I'm not paranoid.
I pop off the train at the last second
watch 3 of them suddenly trying
to push for the door
like an action flick at the movies
I've done it almost 6 times now,
the quick switch, slipping out, transferring
watching the windows
as they try to get off and follow
cellphones flipping open
sweat on their brow.
I watch the shoes and skirts of those paying attention to me
cellphone camera eye
nonchalantly swings in my direction
briefcase twisting awkwardly
to point at me
switching and moving
eluding
I see the same 70's print
or the same heel and pants
with a different sweater on
a different hat and bag
ten blocks later
It's hard to change pants
and dresses
and shoes
on the fly
but the wear of a shoe, an angle or curve in a print
is never duplicated in the real world
Do you see?
It's not paranoia
It's observation.
Someone watching
pretending they are not
I feel the attention
move places on the bus or train
suddenly I am beside or behind them
smiling looking at the side of their head
I watch them resist turning
their hand on the cellphone
beads of sweat on their brow
the shaking
of adrenaline
hunter learns the feeling
of the hunted
in a simple change of position
I would guess
I am a hard target
when I don't just let them follow
when I get pissed off
and track them
keeping score
when I turn
and play
the Game
for real
I peg more than a dozen
one day
are they demoralized by this?
I wonder
if they ever consider
MY feelings?
Watched
Followed
Hunted
I use a phone to call a government number
for information
spin around a corner
turn back
and watch a police car stop
at the store with the phone inside
I hear the officers talking about
the description
describing ME.
Laughing.
I disappear
Tears in my eyes.
Do they consider their actions moral?
Harassment and hunting of the intellectuals
like the bloody streets of mexico, russia, cambodia
when poets were hunted and killed
for their words
Who do you call
when it's police following you?
Who do you call
when it's authority
painting you black?
I am a dissident
labelled by americans
our security and prosperity partnership
ensures my own police
in my country
will track me
like a dog with rabies
like my friend used to say
for the last 10 years
"They'll kill you for writing that shit"
He said
over and over
I'm pretty sure they will.
Or frame me for something
Make up a reason
to execute me
in an alley
a gun I've never seen before
in my hands
placed there
anything to catch a "terrorist"
for writing
for daring to say
the playing field
isn't level
for daring to say
that cameras
and batons
tasers
and black gloves
are not
in any sense
freedom.
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