Young person, fresh faced and ready to take on the "thriving" Canadian job market,
listen close:
If your tongue is long and you lick ass well, you'll be rewarded well.
If you LOVE working 12 hours a day, 6 days a week, you will thrive.
If you don't care that you are paying over 80% of your wage just on rent, utilities, transportation, and food, you will be happy.
If being a meat-robot is a primary goal in your life, you're set.
If you can stomach being a whore and selling your ass for money, this current economy in Canada is designed to to make you one, so just go with it if you're of that type.
If none of that appeals to you, be smart.
Avoid going to university and getting into debt for more than you will make over the next 10 years.
You'll be better off in Canada if you:
Join a gang and work hard for your organized crime boss
Grow pot. Its not very dangerous, and you'll have money and pot to smoke. The cops will steal it from you if they can so hide it well. Don't be a schmuck, do it right. Nobody likes kife weed.
Sell any other drug. It pays better than McDick's. Try not to stoop to crack, but hey, money is money.
Steal from rich people. May sure you get their PIN if you beat the crap out of them.
Try not kill them, but remember, they want you dead if you're not in the same class as them. So have at it.
Steal from large faceless corporations at any opportunity, even if you have to smack a lock or two to make off with da goods. Security guards are warrior pawns, sad to say, so whack em before they get that talkie squelching.
Lie to all people in authority or higher classes when they ask if you are a devout servant of their GOD. Say yes. Try not to believe the bullshit coming out of your mouth. When they bow to pray hit them over the head and take their wallet.
Destroy all hummers and porsche vehicles you see. If you want to show off your "bling" drive something old and cool and tricked out. Keying is second best to destruction.
Give money to buskers and wandering wizards. The ghost of Robin Hood will bless you.
You'll be so much better off if you start selling drugs right out of high school.
Being a whore fucks up your head. It's better to be a pimp or pimpette.
Try not to get too high on your own supply. It's better to have variety so trade with your competitors. Remember to say hello to their little friends. It's the polite thing to do.
sing Happy Fucking Birthday to me while you resolve to follow my good advice.
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