Xmas Stories

some of my favourite stories by Oscar Wilde

The Happy Prince and the Selfish Giant for free on Project Gutenberg

these I dig:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Selfish_Giant_(film)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Happy_Prince_(film)

Christian Sects VS. Ass Sex

I changed the title.
I had to.
The sects pun was too funny to let slide

various other shite will pile up here quickly
I swear...
8P

so for homework:
Watch Bible Black OVA #4 "Black Caress"
(warning: if you are easily slutified by LaVeyan mind programming or disturbed by hermaphroditism, cartoon depictions of rape, and other artist rendered perversity- don't watch!)


Please keep in mind it is a cartoon.
Separate reality at least a bit from the cartoon or you will definitely have problems swallowing that hour of twisted and perverse hentai mixed with weird japanese germanic "magic" as envisioned by slightly mad 5'4" japanese cartoonists who wear dress shirts with no tie and black rimmed spectacles.
Feedback!! Comments? An-ecdotes?

We are of course focusing on the physical, not psychological aspects of the piece mostly.
The drug, and huge mindfuck as they make him watch his long time sweetie get off on a bunch of other men is a completely different aspect and lesson of the film, but we are mainly concerned with it's depiction of anal sex, the fact that it isn't missionary position christian sex in any way is also secondary to our discussion but still relevant.
Hmmm.
I wonder if linking to a wikipedia article about an obscene movie is a crime


Topics for this ever growing article will include over the space of the holidays:

cleansing practices("You gotta wash your ass..." - anon., step by step how-to in progress!)
ass-conducive foods(wine, yogurt, fruit, "white bread, trimmed of crust, with butter and peeled cucumber sandwhiches" - O. Wilde in The Importance of Being Ernest, noodles vs. rice, fasting, bagels...and of course - eating properly when you aren't anticipating all night ass-sex!)
the best type of gloves (try those blue nitrile ones withe texture...)
different lubes VS. different natural oils (hemp oil works for stoners! thicker? what works in a shower?)
the natural VS. "unnatural" view of ass sex (Acquiring humorous diagrams...still)
Dirtiness (how much icky poo is really encountered? If you eat ideally is water necessary?)
Is "tearing it up" gonna work?
Do the size queens and booty whores have it right? Do you want more than X" in there?
Is it dangerous? Aren't there kidneys and stuff in there? Can something break?
If you dig a smoker, those textured gloves seem to make a lot of things go smoother.

=P

deep questions.
ponder them dearly if you are bored or titillated.

What about when a someone digs ass sex in general in their "right" sex way,
then frowns on queer ass sex, whatever that is
Is fairly vanilla doggy style ass sex really very queer these days?
Not if the internet is any indication...

I don't know. I think those folks that wear the Furry costumes and fuck like rabbits or raccoons are waaaaay more weird than vanilla ass sex.

male and female bums are certainly different
do they feel different on the inside?
I'll have to experiment with this

a blind "feel" test...
that's it!
now for some suitable test subjects...

"Free your mind,and your ass will follow.The Kindom of heaven is within..."- G. Clinton

I wonder if bum sex was practiced in Jesus' neighborhood
I mean, I'm sure that whore he kept from getting stoned
probably was packing olive oil and dates
"You who have not eaten olives and dates for 2 days straight cast the first stone..."


I'm sure nobody else in the world was doing that assfucking stuff waaaay back when
in the bush or the barn
eeewww.
sorry, straw + anus = not good
watch out for sand too

no one would ever have sex on a beach
would they?
Seriously though,
one god damned piece of sand can ruin your whole evening...


Actually there is some speculation that 3 of the apostles
dug each other's asses
but that's heretical of course
I'm serious. I don't have a reference link but I swear I'm not lying, it was a trustworthy anthropological source.

just like  those 3 boyfriends Hercules had during his life
Well documented
Not at the same time, dirty girls. That was over his lifetime.
Why wasn't that in the Disney version of Hercules?

Horrifying death of a loved one,
his pretty spearboy
on the bed that stretches you to its length

Seven years with the princess of Aegea
playing the lyre and sewing
when he wasn't cleaning those humongous stables

sewing

hmm.
Hercules sewing in a skirt
the ancient book said
the princess made him wear a skirt
and sew
and comb her hair

I secretly wish I had a sewing machine and space for it
this is disturbing me...
I would make costumes, of course
crap.

that's worse
damn

you need a $1200 bedroom suite to have ass sex
don't you?

I mean,
isn't ass sex a modern invention?

surely no one was fucking each other in the ass during the reign of Christianity
I mean

how would they shower eh?
its such a filthy practice
theres no way someone could have gotten clean after that
 
don't you need expensive equipment
or something?
a huge shower with odd handles in convenient places?


way back
when

oh, wait
what's this randy drunken hedonist monk and friar meme I keep seeing pop up...
geezuz
12-30 men in a big house

nothing to suggest they had fruits and olive oil....
and wine
except these hundreds of paintings

St. Anthony's Temptation
was no demon in the sky
it was the only other person for miles around
the demon tormenting him
and "seducing" him

he had to pray a long time
a good shower
and a bit less guilt
would have made his life easier

that's just my own
heretical interpretation
once again

I wonder how deep I
should go
with this...

lately I've been composing on my wordpress version of the blog
Since the cia own google and chinese style censorship is silently approaching us
=|
actually, just cause
so it has about 6 more articles,
I still post them here a couple times a month
but I usually build them there over a couple weeks first

This article, however,
I'll erect inside blogger first...
for some twisted perverse reason I have yet to divulge

Murdered slowly in plain sight – the Canadian version of the nazi t4 progamme

There’s this short story by Poul Anderson. I can’t remember what it was called, but it was at the front of a very large collection of his short stories. It was one of his early ’60′s pieces.

I can’t really spoil it, because it’s fifty years old.

Mr. Anderson‘s protagonist ends up in a lab in an “alternate earth” scenario.
I hate them so much, those alternate plots.

The Doctor in the lab is showing him how they process newborns, which are born by a natural process, not cloned (I’m NOT going to spoil THAT sick part of his story, you’ll have to read it yourself). The babies are separated at birth between those who become citizens and have a nurse and then family, and the others.

The Others, are not visibly different upon quick inspection, so a gene analysis is done on each child to determine this. So 2 children from the same birthing set could be split into a citizen and

A cow, or horse, basically. A slave.

These children run through an assembly line shortly after birth. Their genitals are removed, they are blindfolded, shot with various hormones and placed in sensory deprivation for the first few months of their lives and they are basically treated from that moment as a working animal. They are never taught to speak and their vocal cords are surgically damaged to prevent more than grunts. The obviously get no schooling or healthcare later in life.

So, I don’t have the story with me, but I’m going to weave pieces of it’s ideas and wrap them around my experiences and observations of the process I’ve been put through.

The “process” which has denied me a proper medical for the last 6 years. And I’m starting to get to the point where I can’t even move well enough to search for food. I’m dying slowly, and an entire community is so busy thinking happy thoughts they can’t see what’s happening in their neighborhood.

So what is the t4 programme?

It’s related, intrinsically, to the TIA effort, and the use of databases to track record and schedule. They used it to wipe out about a quarter of a million people, using DOCTORS.

You see, the Nazi’s would have never been able to process all those Jews and Queers and anybody else “different”, if it hadn’t been for IBM. Their efforts to catalog everyone and sort the useful from the indesireable was only possible because off their early war investment in American IBM punch card systems. Yes, the Germans bought early computing systems from the americans to sort everyone through their TIA like system of humanity assessment and disposal.

so before they began rounding up everybody, they marked, on punch cards, who was jew/queer/disabled/mentally ill/had a hereditary disease.

The T4 programme focused on a eugenics programme that was tasked with making sure that people with hereditary diseases or mental illnesses would be quietly euthanized (in the doctors office), sterilized, or marked for starvation (why spend money killing someone, just make sure they get nothing to eat).

What would happen is that when the client went to the doctor, the doctor filled out a form, it all got put on punch cards, the patient would be flagged as one of the “undesireables” and then would be called back in to the doctor. If the doctor was one of the select few doctors in the inner circle of this masonic style organization, he would be tasked with quietly offing the person, otherwise they would be then on scheduled with another doctor, one was in the special group.

The person would be injected, or given prescriptions containing poisons, or operated on and then dying in the O.R. (bleeding to death), or, if they were invalid or mentally incompetent, they would just be left without food until they died.

250, 000 patients were murdered by doctors under the T4 Action.

Now, I’m specifically going to talk about one hereditary genetic configuration, intersex, and how the exact same tools are being used by a group of doctors with common religious and political affiliations. Religious affiliations that consider this genetic condition to be “aligned with the devil”

I fucking kid you not.

There are 2 places in vancouver that an intersex person is sent to if they ask about their condition, The Three Bridges clinic, and the Ravensong.

Both places are listed in government media as being the place where Intersex people can get a specialist.

But there are NO SPECIALISTS.

Because the religious order that is in majority control of these two facilities has set them up for the specific purpose of fucking over and even causing the death of intersex patients that show up there.

I’ve been to both facilities. I have been mocked and snickered at in both places. Neither helped me, both tried extensively to make me just give up asking for a specialist, or “be a tranny”. That’s the second option.

I’m not a Transgender person, I’m Intersex.

They aren’t the same.

I started trying to get a specialist here about 6 years ago, because my hernia had gotten bad, but I am afraid to go to surgeons I don’t know because of what was done to me at 15.

I was operated on at 15 and given no knowledge of what the real purpose of the operation was. I didn’t learn until I was after 35 what had happened, because my mother was uber-christian, so I never got told what was happening, and I was never appraised of it by the medical profession in my adult life.

If I go to a doctor right now, and he makes me an appointment for a surgery, unless he personally knows who the surgeon will be and I have an observer, then what will happen is I will die on the operating table. I will be falling under the anaesthetic, and doctor Brown (the evil fucker they keep trying to send me to) or some other Mason, will show up.

Or it will be one of the many doctors and nurses in the lower mainland who are RELATED to Robert Cooper.

I will die on the operating table,

because the Masons have been in control of VCH and it’s scheduling functions for years.

And they have a 600 year old history of tormenting and killing any “hermaphrodite” or intersex person they can find.

It’s not a conspiracy, it’s reality.

Canada tries to tell us that everyone is equal, everyone gets equal care.

That’s not true. I know it for a fact. I live it each day.

And I’m DYING right now, because I can’t get a specialist who actually knows what they generally do to people like me. Because they’ve been doing it to us for decades here.

The nurse who has been holding up my disability application is Anna Cooper. She’s related to Robert Cooper, who ripped me off, and she has control of some of my medical records now. The Kettle doesn’t care about the fact that the olnly place I have left to get to a health provider is run by a relative of someone who ripped me off and has tried to have me killed. They only care about limiting ther liability, not making sure I get actual healthcare after almost dying while this woman revels in a conflict of interest situation that should be enough to put her in jail for a couple of years. She’s laughing, Roberts laughing, the kettle pretends they are good people and I’m being stupid.

fuckers.

The Tranny at the Ravensong is the head nurse, she’s had over $100,000 in surgery and psychologists to flip her from man to woman, and she’s sittingthere mocking me, and telling me that I can’t get a specialist at the Ravensong for Intersexuality.
I think they paid her $20 grand or so to delay my healthcare, for pushing “the policy” of denial of service for the intersex.

Do you know why?
More than half the people who end up “transgender” were actually intersex to begin with, but the doctors wouldn’t tell them that, or tell them that they probably had hormonal treatment applied to them at in utero and shortly after birth. to flip them one way or the other. But through the tool of Therapeutic Privelege, no one who is intersex is given any real information about what was done to them.

This is a horrible crime, because the practices and procedures of modern medicine toward intersex people is that the well being of the PARENTS and their beliefs is more important than the rights of the child to later self determination in care.

So if they don’t know, and feel wrong, the government offers them psychiatrists and specialists and thousands of dollars in surgery and retraining and disability. As long as they are willing to switch

because that immediately takes them out of the gene pool.

Getting Trans surgery done makes people sterile. So that’s why everyone intersex is pushed to forget about it or switch.

If you try to insist on getting an ACTUAL SPECIALIST in intersexuality, you will find there is none and no one will help you, and the associations the government has placed there SAYING you will have services actually have none.

Did you realize that Action T4 was operated through the Charitable Foundation for Cure and Institutional Care. Sounds very helpful doesn’t it?

It’s called DOUBLESPEAK.

Want to know something REALLY interesting?
Throughout this process, I’ve encountered quite a few Germans. Yeah, ones in health care or poverty services that have done something that would fuck me over or cause me grief,

or destroy medical evidence.

The fucking tranny nurse is even german I believe.

My apologies to my trans friends if I sound a bit pissed and use tranny like a swear right now, yes I know at least 5 trans people I drink and talk with. I’m not anti-trans.

But they get specialists
and I get murdering doctors and techs blasting me with xrays
delaying my care until I die
none of it will be investigated

because I don’t have
the human right to proper medical care
in Canada

People like me
are denied their rights
to law and healthcare

Denial of Service attacks
from the government
against people

who they want
to get rid of

Families like Robert Cooper’s
can do anything they want to people
like me
I don’t really
exist

here

So let’s go through it all
step by step
and look at who

is involved

The Beatific Vision from a natural neopagan perspective - The Wild Hunt of Herne

Nope. I'm not going all theological on you.

I don't get that anyway:
theo  -  logical?

oxy - moron?

So, if you're not one of the programmed monotheist bots
you might need a different perspective on Ezekiel's Wheel...

Let's put the logical back into it.
Lot's of reference images and descriptive texts
with similiarities
recounting personal visionary experiences

of this whirl
of People

Look at the following images.
Compare.

The text can only describe the methodology,
descriptions ultimately fail

as you will see this with your own projected thought
its form will be shaped by what you yourself expect to see

Since you participate within it
it is not an experience you can will into being
you need to watch for it
like at a full moon or solstice time

This is why they would break your connections to the Moon
and the solstices
but long weekends and other holidays
can precipitate it as well

when people have Time
to think
and participate
as they do what they do
for their trance or meditation
or celebration

if you see it
sit and watch

this is a COMMON spiritual experience
across MANY cultures

to give you an idea how often you might see it
I've seen it about 6 times in the last 10 years.
You might see it less
and still feel like it was an
accomplishment

Entheogens aren't necessary if you're naturally trancy,
like pot, or wine, or mdma
but they won't hinder you
they may even make it easier
and more

exhilarating

What will hinder you?
being ashamed or offended by nude humans

in your room
meditating
in robes or clothing

or dancing in your circles
with your dangling dancer clothes

in the ethereal sight and activity of the "visionary experience"

you, and everyone in it
will probably
be naked

skyclad
in mind

its not some distasteful thing

it's simply that
in the midst of being within that experience
it's really hard to focus an image of clothes around yourself
and its actually detrimental to the experience

Let's take off the training wheels...

its also easier
if you practice being a Tree for a month or so,
a Green Man
or Green Woman

and see if you can have "visionary experiences"
of being an animal

don't push it
meditate, breathe, slow your brain waves down to delta
visualize

start with the Tree
or Fire

because for some reason
some people find Fire easier
and some find the Tree
closer to their
being

in the beginning

I don't believe this is an exclusive experience
you don't have to pay a fee
only prepare your
self

and maybe
thank your Teachers

filling your heart with open acceptance
of the "experience"
seems to help

and breathing sloooooooooooooooow

the process requires no leap of faith
or specific deity

I'm an Atheist,
and I've seen this clearly, many times.
not exactly as pictured, at all
its a bit different
in other cultures and times
but functions the same

Now children.

The big Question
is it Good?
Is it a "waste of Time"
Does it have a purpose to you?

I don't really see "god" in any of it
just
People.

What Canada really needs #27: patient ownership of medical records and a class action lawsuit for adult Intersex persons mutilated or murdered by genocidal canadian doctors

What Canada Really Needs: 1-2
Everyone needs Justice and Healthcare.

Except those fucking hermaphrodites I guess.
There's only about 300,000 of them in Canada
So that's not many

to torment and kill

If we kill them off
no one will care
we've got lots of cops
to laugh and look the other way

Then we only have about
3,000 per year born
in various shades
and we can rayblast or poisen them
in the womb
once we can see
the difference
in ultrasound

but children have no voices
except for the tears and screaming
in a heartless hospital room

no way to say it hurts
no way to say
what have you done?

No way to remember
no rights to be told
the truth

It only makes sense right?
That don't look right
cut it off doc
sew it up

Can you help us Doc?

Seal up the family secret?

We'll sign a release
and besides
if we work together
they'll never know

Because the hospital owns
their records, and scans
not them
they have no right
to that information

hospitals make profit
off medical records of "freaks"
in a book
in the future
a Doctor will be exalted
for studying them
without their knowledge
right before we made them
extinct

finally

Leukemia comes from ct's, xrays and mri's
most of the time
It's the fingerprint of murder in medicine
silent killer of queer humans

only a few people get Leukemia environmentally
like maybe when they were 3 they had a power transformer in their yard
and they played right beside it
but really, that's rare

usually its a sign

that someone intersex or a fag, or other undesireable
got blasted and killed
you can kill someone in the operating room too
or with poison,
these mason fucks love poison

but radiation is silent and barely traceable

no one will care
the cops won't ever question
a doctor, or nurse
for murder

Accidental overexposure
by "untrained radiologists"
union killers
is just a button and a dial

idiot proof screens
no safeguards for us
no tracking of how much
or how long the exposure

no evidence will be found
it's easily
deleted

or we'll just use
an older machine for them
and a technician with an extra $20,000
in their pocket

Courtesy of
the intersex genocide policy
and masons with deep pockets
evidence cleaned up
by the Order of the Eastern Star

idiot proof
even a redneck with a college diploma
could do it

rays kill cleaner
than anesthetic

they die at home
slowly,
painfully,
like "sinners" should
sinful bodies
like that

better they should die at home
puking and whimpering
while we laugh and toast their agony
not on the operating table

where there might be
but never are
any questions

Besides
after we rename them
divide them into specific types
they will have no identity as

Intersex

a group identity
is dangerous
they might
acquire rights that way

because we'll simply
redefine them
as
Disorders of Sexual Development

malformed humans
which obviously
must be
"fixed"

we do it to dogs
why not them?
We certainly don't want
people like that

to have children

It's better to keep
the gene pool

"clean"

rip off the extra skin from the child
adjust it so it looks more
"normal"
so their parents will feel better about it

who cares about nerves
and Feeling

it LOOKS bad
wrong

just change it
who cares
what they
would want

Appearances
are more important
than
Feeling

never let them know
that the reason they can't get ahead
the Databases of Denial

is because the government and their rich mason cronies
the 3.5% that rule the 96.5% of us

have a grudge against them
a grudge of genocide
taken from jewish cabbalah

killing the children of the Elohim
murdering an entire group of people
because of their genetic heritage

600 years of torturing people
born different
because of their HOLY

bullshit

Once treated with respect
aspects
of Shiva, Kali, Eleusia
the Oracles of Greece
Elohim
"Goddess-men" they were called

We spit and call them Freaks now
trained by our masters in their lodges
to hate their enemy

because of their holy stories
which claim the age old hatred
as a Truth
Above the Law of men

above
the lies
of men

now they are hunted
by the killers
of Christ

the money changers and priests
the "Warriors of God"

Christian Taliban
drug smuggling weapons importers
of god

Those who speak of righteousness
willing to kill for their "god"
for purity

under the table

When you watch those old movies
about nazis

look how self righteous the SS is in those old movies
when talking about
cleaning up
"civilized" society

Ask any VPD or RCMP officer, or conservative politician
about intersex genocide
more than likely they'll say

"it's for the best"

Besides
with the military and the masons in agreement
genetic cleansing can be made child friendly
with a television show

The heroes will save us
from the monsters among us

at least on tv

That killer nurse went undetected for 10 years in ontario
Canadians would rather believe
their own human rights media hype
even though we have some of the most disturbing serial killers

we'd rather believe
that Olson, Bernardo, Pickton
were strange anomalies in this vast land of ignorance
Pickton was the fall guy.
For the East Van Whore Cleanup
Gotta get rid of those whores
and faggots.

it's for the best


Canada is a big place
lot's of killer rednecks
trained on UFC and military television programming
Conservative Big Red filling our Global TV with the bot programming of Uncle Sam and Jesus

"They're all like that" - Stephen Harper and the Babyfuckers of Canada

“Oh, they’re all like that” she says,
wrinkled old power bitch
puffed up botox lips

She’s talking about getting her ex,
off a child porn distribution charge.
then complaining he doesn’t get any custody

Fucked.

she runs a childcare service

She’s tried a dozen times to convince me
to join the conservatives
all her rich friends are conservatives

She sucked and fucked her way into some money
then started a successful business
but it’s never enough.

There’s never enough flights to hawaii or florida
for the kings who can do what they want
to whoever they want

as long as you have money
you can do anything
in Canada

however you can make
the money

however you can make
the evil kings
“happy”

because they have
the money

only money
matters

the rest
is meat

crushed beneath the
man

what are you willing to do?
to be one of them?

theres only men in that club
cunt

get it straight
only
men

and pictures are worth
a thousand a piece
children can be bought entirely
for a few more

thousands of under 15 year old whores
in Harper’s Christian Canada
desperate for rent and food money
to stay away
from home

to use and
forget
being used

escape

Christianity
gives them
such good
“support”

fornicating whores
nothing is ever done
about what happens to them
they must have deserved this
they eventually
give up
trying

to escape

because that’s just
the Way
it is

I listen to a friend tell me of a father
Canadian Fortune 500 executive,
Conservative
She recounts being fucked and tortured for hours
by her father and his friends
money changing hands
laughter
every saturday
then going to church each sunday
and that started LONG before her teens

What kept her in line more? Saturday or sunday?

I remember the pedo priest in my church as a teen

all the brainwashed lambs
unable to believe
for years he had free reign

all the 5 year olds he fondled freely

it wasn’t until he raped
at paraplegic woman in his home
that he finally went to jail
He never went to jail for the children he touched

I told them he was like that
years before
when I was 13

big meaty hand on my thigh
groping
the priest staring at a 5 year old boy
across the “prayer circle”

eyes twitching
lips licking
like
a lizard

They slapped me for suggesting such a thing
about such a Great Man
so I quickly left
a pariah to their conservative congregation

I have seen many Liars
stand behind
Altars

Fuck your Salvation

I learned to see
beneath the skin
for survival

you believe the masks
if you wish

I detest your rituals
of blindness

looking
the “other” way

in the other way of seeing
I see them clearly
if you cannot

You all spit and tell ME now
of some other Great Man’s “godliness”
I will trust my eyes
that see his lips licking

at an 8 year old playing

I’ve watched him
for 3 days
as my dog plays with her

and he
stares
at her

licking

she’s not
being coy to him

You tell ME
this woman who watches your children
can be trusted
She is no friend to me

I watch her teaching 2 boys in the park
to suck a popsicle
like it was a cock
in and out

laughing at her evil game

so innocent looking an act
such a malignant purpose
invisible in a full playground

just a popsicle
in and out
don’t touch it

how deep
can it go

she can make $100
per picture of Vaselined bums
with fingers in them
that’s ten grand an SD card

everyone has their reason
money
vengeance
madness

what are you willing to do
in the wild west
of the New Kings

I watch a hobo beside me
I’ve been told personally by someone
I trust
about something he did
and something he says now
about teaching them young
makes it concrete

he’s talking about 5 year olds

If I were to make him disappear
the police dogs would catch me
hobbling a block away
“no one left behind”

I can only
Tell YOU then
the stories
of these Tears

holding them so long
is
killing me

But you cannot seem
to hear them

Left
Behind

two girls
sisters
telling me it took them years
to realize

each time starting at like 12
that they were drugged and raped
supposedly unconscious

a couple times a year

auntie had a shitload of money right after
and all the bills that couldn’t be paid
suddenly were

“somebody”
paid them

two pairs of eyes
welling up
with
“me”

lot of
presents
to help
forget

I’m tempted to tell them
to eat some curry and get drunk on tequila alone
young woman

and tell Kali herself
personally

you can tell me, anytime
little one
if you are not
strong enough

but your need for vengeance
is better fed with You
as Her

would you be strong enough to face that auntie
Yourselves?

abandon the cross then hide behind it later
like your auntie

and the take up the knife or tool
personal vengeance
is better than whimpering suicide at the foot of a martyr

you could
just let it
Wash
Away

put it down

and think
its not yourself
that you should hurt

for this
as you Look at IT

the Knife

Who is?
Who specifically is or was it that
you should

Return
the
Favor

and the Presents

To?

focus
breathing slower

they’re all
like that

A young woman
with a bandaged wrist
from the frustration
of suppressed will and freedom
tells me

of staring at
a pool
of tears and drool
on a formica table
not even 12 then
the middle of nowhere
mom
isn’t here

bent over for 2 hours
butter and a 9 inch dick
her mom’s boyfriend in her ass

someone has to pay
for what you eat and have
little girl

I guess
she had
to
Pay

her family wants her to Pray now
years later
and not think of sinful things

things that hurt
but now she can’t
undo them or forget the way
they feel

good little girls
don’t think of such things

but its hard to forget
2 hours

it washes
Away

on the
Surface
only

when I was 11
I remember
a man
2 streets over
with a house
and three
“nieces”
who didn’t look at all
like him

blonde hair
dark haunted eyes

after years
he was
“sent away”

but he
took
them
with
him

so was the
“community”
really “just”

when they sent
them
away?

I pondered that
a few times
in my parka
standing on a frozen lake

sending them
Away
with
him

I don’t believe
they deserved that fate
but I guess
they were

“dirty”girls
then

is that
how it works?

I remember a girlfriend when I was young still but older
that innocent kind of love that never gets laid
Friends
but daddy fucked her body and mind up at 9

big red jacket
free reign

I remember her mom
Who knew her daughter was being raped back then

fat union wife cunt
half a fucking ton
don’t rock the boat little girl
he paid for the roof over your head

don’t rock
the boat
unless you can walk
on water

you have to be willing to
fuck your own children
to own a house
here

that’s just
the Way
it is

her mom is telling me about a woman
after years of getting the snot beat out of her
by her husband
he comes home drunk
he’s got money, a paid for house
he’s drunk

he’s upset
expecting to get his dick sucked
in a rage
till her 20 yr old daughter just says
“It’s ok mom, go to bed,
I’ll take care of it”
and gets on her knees

she tells it like
“that’s just the way it is”
then laughing
laughing
tells me a story

about a fag
who found himself a sugar daddy
then died of aids
rolls of fat jiggle with cackling laughter

so funny
dying faggots

I never fucked her daughter
but people still say I did
I still get burned for it

burned and burned and burned
by Big Red his righteous Christian Taliban
The righteous army of jesus
raping and pillaging , robbing people and selling drugs and
selling people
rob another faggot and burn ‘em
GHB for everyone
pass it around

rape your daughters early in life
so they won’t elevate themselves
above their station

know their
Place

“They’re all like that” she says
the cackle of the privileged

more of many hundreds of stories

I have heard
alone
never ending
always another

they blend together after awhile

a shimmering whimpering tapestry of light blue
through the cigarettes
I remember

they need catharsis

I can listen
I guess

I have time
for that

I can make

time

One pleads with me to tell you
of being chained to a wall
covered in gasoline
while her brother smokes a cigarette
her sister in the background
chained on the floor
covered in puke
after 5 days…

but that tale is too painful
to tell in a single
sitting

for me,
at least.

Do you understand?

I had to get drunk
just to tell you
that much

okay?

If I boil 7 days down
of Daddy’s big red dick and his friends and then her brothers and their friends
to a compressed misery of two hours
of words
how much torture
do I endure?

there is no reward
in it
for me
at all

so this is what
you get

I couldn’t afford
the beers it took
to say it
bitches

but I bought them anyway
for this
useless
shit
I write

The useless shit
that shitfuckers
write

when they do
nothing
as they die
with nothing

Imagine how many I drank
while I listened to every
sobbing
word
and Projected
image

holier than thou
bitches

fuck your temperance
sometimes
humans need more

tears
are made
of liquid…

and there are
too many…

I never get anything good
myself
from the listening

call me
selfish

but I listen to their tears
at night
sobbing
and get scorned daily

by you cunts

yes I stare
like a fucking
madman
you bitches

gasoline…
cigarettes and beer, and
gasoline
and

nothing

If I hadn’t
got off the x-ray table in Richmond

I’d be dying of leukemia right now

courtesy of
Dr. Cooper and his pals
his brother Robert

next to the docks
and the union hall
as they laugh
Big Red
laughing

another dying faggot in the Hamilton
where they send the faggots to die

everyone drink a beer
for the dying faggot
who paid for our houses
with his ideas

and I should give a shit
about these tears

this one I barely know
but have known
a few years

beautiful brunette
a bit
self-conscious

telling me to tell the tale
images I would rather not
remember

I watch
as she remembers…

she was just past twelve
remembering at 15
a “guest” she didn’t like
her mom had over

I guess she might have been a little snotty
at the “guest”

she was still dreaming of princes
on her own bed at knifepoint
because her mom had taken the money on the table
and said “fuck her!”

and left to go shopping and pay rent

I guess her mom figured
since she had whored herself to this brutal man
a number of times to pay the rent
she should do her part I guess

now her mom
has a good union job
with the ass and complacency
that grows from that

and her deflowering
at knifepoint
is just a regret
to be forgotten

I guess
it was only
“one time”

so she should have
“gotten over it”

she more or less has
no choice

Should I tell this young woman crying
she is too young to talk to me?

well past puberty
she spits out a story

of a 9 inch dick
down a 6 year old throat

pissing beer into her stomach

being punched in the head
while choking
told not to bite

and later a spanking

in front of
Everybody

at some Church picnic

for being covered
in puke and beer and piss
and cum

for being
dirty

seeing red
drunk on some ”uncle”‘s piss
praise jesus for salvation

she learned
not to “be mouthy”
and be grateful

you must be grateful
not an Ingrate

you must be Grateful
for what…

you have left.

I guess I should have told her
she was too young
to tell me
that

I should have
sent her

Away

I should interrupt
a half hour story
about a couple of hours
crunched into the corner

of the tub?

I guess it all
really
washes

Away

I can’t cry anymore
at the telling
because I would hold

an ocean
of weeping

you can have them if you want
these tears
of your sisters

I have carried them
a long time

I would put them
in a nicer place
if I could

this is all
I can do
for now

you wonder why
I chain smoke
and drink a couple cans of beer
when I have opportunity

YOU remember then,
YOU remember clearly,
I would rather
dull it

you can have
every
fucking
one of them

every Tear

they Weigh more
than you think

so much
more

fucking
gasoline

The girl next to me is 14
I’m in the big red jacket someone gave me a couple years ago

There are aunties and uncles watching
a hundred feet back

We’re 4 feet apart
and can’t move closer
I expect they’ll throw rocks at me for standing there
burn me alive

listening quietly
to her talk
nervously

She’s a Sweetheart,
and I love her a lot
from 4 feet away

They’d hang me if I held her hand
or gave her a scarf
so we just sort of

stand
and talk

its not like she
can reach out
or me

the most daring thing
she can do
this shy girl
is discreetly
bend over

a little bit
coy

sometimes that’s all you can express
I’m sure we each
have our own feelings

we pretend
we don’t

things
we’d like
to say

Let’s pretend
we don’t
everybody

watch and pretend

She plays with my dog for a bit
being
a little bit
coy

and we talk
about a rough life
gradually getting
better

the end

later someone will try to kill my dog
because we stood
and talked

I haven’t actually fucked anyone
for a couple of years
but that doesn’t matter
in the gossip mill

Down in the lower eastside

we have double the number of whores her age in the last decade
No social support under 15 on the street

in Harper’s Canada

I believe
myself
in freewill

I do not see that they have any
choices
that you talk about

they should have the minimum
safety net
but no one gets anything but pissed on

here
unless they slave or whore
or go to jesus

Fuck
your
Salvation
Stephen

The chick these fucks tried to set me up and hang me with last year
was 15 and near losing it
Sticking her tits and ass in my face
crazy bait twat
completely nuts

heavily dosed on the wrong antidepressent
mood swings and suicidal tendencies
smoothed over
with heart bursting ssri’s and eye-popping ritalin

She’d been molested (raped actually)
more than a couple times in her life.
more

I suspect daddy,
at the start of it all
before the the slide
into

this
need

continuous non stop talking
need
to control and manipulate

everything/everyone
a constant gnawing
from when
there was no control

or

savior

justice has no time
for little girls
with no money
for anyone

anymore

but she’s here so the IATSE fucks

on the other side of the square
can get some BURN footage

“Oh we’re just shooting a movie!”
An entire crew
in the place where I sit every day
convenient

Snarling redhead IATSE cunt with herpes
mocking me, while she talks to a tech
They’re attacking me in broad daylight
with bait cunt and cameras

4 times now
I’ve watched that IATSE redhead herpes cunt
mock me

you fucking slut cunt
where did you get the herpes bitch?
sucking and fucking
your way to a good life?
union Cunt

she’s jazzing me
from 20 feet away
about the crazy 15 year old BAIT CUNT in front of me
who can’t stop sticking her tits and out
in everybody’s face
because she’s an ACTRESS
and it’s a Burn job
a thoroughly plotted one

I watch her pitting people against each other
well trained little Laveyan slut
practically memorized Anton’s work
I wonder what she get’s paid for this

I know for a fact this crazy 15 year old has sucked 3 old dicks
not mine
so I guess
they are the bad guys?

And the slut and IATSE crew are saving society from?
What?
Movie trucks full of guns and coke and GHB crossing the border
courtesy of uncle sam
and you all are going to try and burn me with a cunt?
That YOU FUCKING RAISED?

fucking hypocrite fuckers

I guess it’s understandable
because whoever choked her while fucking her

made her need that
abuse
but I don’t have time for it

Like 60% of the women in this country
raped and molested
who are so much better off here
than “over there”

In Stephen Harper’s Canada
When these little girls run away

from rich dad and his dick
The cops deliver them back home

then speed off to find a terrifying pothead or socialist agitator
to drag off to jail

I remember
an indian girl
14 maybe

long ago
pretty but poor
pushed into a fire
burned on her face and hands
at a bush party

laughter all around

I left before it had happened

The highway of tears will keep flowing
because poor little brown girls
have no money or rich family
to spur the police on

There’s more profit
in speeding tickets
and grow-op busts
no money = no justice

This is still a WIP, so don’t get your panties in a knot

Dog killers of East Vancouver

My dog is very friendly. A lot of people love my dog. Quite a few hate me but love my dog.

Anyway.

A crackhead named Damiano, I don’t think he’s homeless but he’s on welfare, tried to feed my dog a broken stick hidden in some cheese. My friend saw him feeding LOTS of dogs over the last summer.

I know a couple of people whose dogs have died from poisoning or foreign objects over the last couple years. I look at the park where Koala and I used to play, before all the fag hating, dog hating, dime-bag gangster fuck-wad weed seller indians moved in. The dogs are almost all gone.

Because the crackhead Damiano, wouldn’t be buying cheese and stuff out of his own pocket to kill dogs with. Someone offered him crack or something to kill peoples dogs in the east van area.

It doesn’t help to call the SPCA. Unless you have a photograph of the person actually killing the dog, they don’t have any resources to gather evidence. They’ve become a cruel and insensitive money maker themselves.

So this Damiano guy, short 5’4″, white hair, big bushy mustache, he hangs out with an evil heroin addict that everyone constantly makes excuses for, a filthy nasty person named Grizz.

You can find Grizz in front of the Commercial Drive Liquor store usually. The bleeding hearts inside there have been letting him beg his $100 worth of jib money out front of their shop for the last 10 years.

Grizz has threated 3 times to kill my dog, because I kicked him out of a public toilet that he was passed out on after smoking his heroin. He was passed out on the seat for 35 minutes in a park with kids at 11 am, so he had to get out of there.

So has your dog died recently, or gotten sick, or had a foreign object inside its stomach?

Find Damiano. Grizz knows where he is. And Damiano usually goes to the Kettle on Venables and Commercial for breakfast and to get some clothes.

Because that’s the guy whose killing dogs, and maybe you can find out who was paying him the crack, because they might have paid other crackheads to do the same thing. Maybe check with a couple of the dimebag gangsters, or their mom, who hangs out at the dyke pet store (the one that I like to go to, and Koala likes) even thought she hates dykes with a passion, almost as much as she hates fags. Her boys have threatened to kill me or koala a few times. She’s the one with the bright red jacket and the gnarly teeth. One of their other indian buds just hit Koala in the eye with a stick. She can barely see, and I have no money for a vet.

Not like there’s anything anyone can do about it. If I had money and a car, I’d take care of it.
but I’m dying and in pain so, fuck you. We can play somewhere else. You can have the gangsters. You let them destroy Grandview park and drive away all the nice people, the last 5 years it was a shithole because of them.

The last person who kicked my dog still sells weed in victoria park. Well, her buddy did the kicking, but she was there. Fat evil cunt. anyway.

So, I think my dog will be fine,

I grabbed the stick embedded in cheese out of her throat.

I’d take care of it. But I can only hobble, even though all my medical problems could be fixed in a couple hours of surgery, I’m not worthy of healthcare. My dog isn’t worthy of being checked out after this. If I had money we could be healthy, but I got ripped off by Big Red. I can’t hobble from a police dog. Funny eh? He could have killed 20 dogs or more, but I’d go to jail if I punched him out. and I can’t drive away, so they’d just get a dog to sniff my trail.

So while you bury your dogs and friends

consider how blind you’ve become to what’s happening

you people have been giving some of these most shitty people

hundreds of dollars a week in change.

And I never begged anything from you.

Stephen Harper's bullshit christian drug war hegemoney

Stephen and his fucking crap about putting someone in jail for growing a pot plant.

increasing sentences for minor ENTHEOGENIC drug offences.

The truth is Stephen

The Canadian Government is the the country’s biggest importer of drugs, including coke and half a million hits of GHB for each Canadian city for your daughters to be raped non-violently with.

It goes right past all of Stephen’s anti-terrorism ass-scanners.

While Stephen and his buddies have you all looking at the evil potheads

Tons of drugs go right across the border in express trucks, get unloaded from airplanes at the airport, unloaded from ships in the port.

All the REAL drugs, the hard drugs, the tons of drugs

GO through your government checkpoints,

Mr. Prime Minister.

And you’ll never stop it
or where will your rich millionaire friends get their fucking coke?

Eh Stevie?

Do you think it would stop if you clamped down?

No. It would get flown in by the military.

Guaranteed.

There’s too much money going on there Stephen

So stop pretending you can stop it by stomping on ground level

Canadians



Throw a crackhead in jail for a dime of rock
While your biggest campaign contributors
snort plates of primo peruvian back

best uncle sam can supply

It’s really fucking crap.

Give that cheap crap to them if they want it and let people buy want they want from the license liquor and drug store.

Christian fool.

You’re party is propped up by organized crime

you can’t give us tv bites about

“stopping it”

just make it more businesslike and real

asshole.

Lest We Forget - remembering the poor sons and daughters killed in wars against DICTATORSHIP and GENOCIDE

Today all our politicians will gather
reverently before the many war penii
ugly dicks of stone rising up amongst the grass of our parks
they bow reverently
for their photo op

call the police
to arrest the protesting poor
tired of capitalist dictatorship
clear the steps

so we can remember
the dictators
who murdered all dissent and color

All the people, in piles of bodies
piles of fags and dykes
piles of jews and gypsies
piles of blacks and half breeds
musicians, artist, poets, socialists

bones all look the same removed of flesh

but they were different
so they were killed
by the righteous
"majority"

who live the "right way"

wars are good
to get rid of poor people
the sons of the rich
are never sent
to die in them

our culture has gradually allowed the dictators
the killers and their opulent courts
to become kings again
lording over us with their crackberries

their databases full
of information
it's easier now
genocide and social cleansing made

efficient and child friendly
media soundbites proclaiming justice and morality
"freedom"

they don't need boxcars anymore
they can kill us in plain sight now
and fabricate a reason
for the newspapers they own

When they are done
they will go to the Legion
which holds no veterans
and hasn't for a decade

there the brownshirts,
the white gangs of our dictators
laugh and drink and sell hard drugs
like they have for 20 years

and talk about how they will rid the world
of fags and niggers, chinks and witches,
trannies and muslims, and poets
nothing but country or 50's rawk for them

while they buy tickets for the meat draw
and praise their "god"
and their "boys"
who died long ago

for freedom and equality

Treason, sedition, censorship, starvation, and hell-ucinations

I don't actually have internet.
and it seems
honestly
that after I submit certain articles

the connections I find lock up.
at least we still have libraries
for now
another year or two
they'll just auto wipe blogs worldwide
from any dissenting opinion
the new world
order

a new e-police center in surrey
sucking Bush's TIA cock

streamlined genocide and theft
in the new world order
pats on the back for everyone from Billie and George
great job securing the north for uncle sam

It wasn't just $600 to see the war criminal and the drug importer

honestly, you had to be
one
of their fucking
"brothers"

That's why no ones reporting the contents of the room
fools
slaves
meatrobots

the free CIA programming rags outside every bustop and mall tell us two illustrious former heads of state are here.

I just see a murderous crook and suave drug dealer.
congratulating henchmen


fuck

so that's why I have 7 articles
below this
that are still WIPs
and are going to grow much larger
over a span of time

I could compose offline
and might

but survival and spotty internet
dying slowly without justice or adequate medicare

in a city of plenty
images telling us there are plenty
of both

its kind of dragging me down

so the blog articles grow organically sometimes
and you'll have to look later for changes if you like one.

I wonder sometimes
why no one is ever charged
with treason
anymore

It's like we suddenly have no enemies
except "islam" and the the "communist/socialist conspiracy"


Want to hear something funny?
I mean...
Do you want to read about a "visionary" experience I had?
I swear, during the visit of these two, out there in surrey
I had a vision

(yes I was extremely high, but I'm not making this up)

In this vision
I saw Bill and Georgie
and shook their hands

and
seeing my opportunity

I took them to Hell.

Yeah.
It was really cool.

Bush and Clinton in Hell

It wasn't the Hell of the christians
but it was Hot.

I had some good weed that day...
and it was really late as well, but yeah.

Georgie in Hell...

He actually looked very small
and wrinkled
black and gnarly
and wretched

pathetic

there,
amongst the Majesties

of Fire

Why aren't the Canadian FreeMasons a "Criminal Organization"?

During the past 10 years
as I've slowly been murdered publicly
as I watch my "community"
turn their backs as I burn

I wonder why it is that the masons and their evil poisonous sisters of the Order of the Eastern Star aren't categorized as a "criminal organization"

I look at the other larger "criminal organizations"

They all do business with rich masons.
Most of the thieving and fraud in our society is masons

the real thieving, the government contract style flip things over turn a profit with a paper bag or offshore account thieving.

When you really think about it
The most expensive of the illegal things
are all purchased by people of this wealth bracket

the cocaine, the kiddie porn

Only people in this social strata can afford the $10k for their fetishes

We look at our society,
controlled and manipulated by 3.5 percent of us

and when we map those to the masons
we see a correlation

people whose "gang" affiliation
is more important than anyone else

sound familiar?

Just because the homies wear suits to hide their bling
don't mean they aren't the real thing

Worst of all
amongst this tribe of fat white kings
is the seeds of genocide and eugenics
when a small group realizes
they are above the "law"

These people can murder anyone, steal anything
break any law, poison anyone,
arrange for administrations under their control to fuck someone over
with impunity

No police officer will investigate
and if they do
they will be bored and unresponsive
flashing their ring

They've programmed us with films and shows they own
to giggle at "conspiracy"

but locally
their gangs are numerous
influential
murderous

genocidal

Our canadian maple leave glasses glow pinker than any rose
and we happily sit at their heels

begging for a few leavings

of the table from what they have stolen from all of us

These people learned a long time ago,
if you have
2 lawyers, 2 doctors, 2 judges, and 2 policemen,
you can take a simple forged signature and rob anyone,
then make it look like they were insane or criminal.
You also have the means to say that a will was "properly distributed".

The robber barons of fat white purity

hunt me

and if I return their attacks
I am labeled "schizophrenic"

So let me tell you
about Family
Houses, clubs, gangs, brotherhoods, fronts, sects,

all are not equal before their "law" of lies
all are not equal

They may burn your houses
you cannot
burn
theirs

So let's talk about a family
named Cooper
here in Vancouver, and in Toronto

The "man" Cooper
Robert.
Robs me.

The clan Cooper
doctors, nurses, administrators
and friends
the club and the family

continue for the last 8 years
to fuck up my medical access
from within the medical system

and of course
the poison

manipulating paperwork
and poisoning people
group efforts
at tarnishing a reputation

bring all your friends
to bring him down

IATSE backs him up because he pays everyone
everyone but me
His mason shithead we are greater than everyone brothers
swarm

chickenshit fuckers
single combat at fjords
you fat rich chickenshit fucks behind your lily white aprons

let's play chess
you fucks

If I were to fight back
I would be a mass murderer
and I would

WIN

..yet they can kill me daily, slowly, methodically
and manipulate my government "protected"
medical access and paperwork
papers shredded
files deleted
scans replaced
teamwork
old bags of the Eastern Star called in as temps to locate and copy and destroy
evidence

face crimped and shriveled and mean
minds nailed to the beginning
of the last century
programmed bitch bots
of money and hate
they don't need to work again for the rest of their life

called in
suddenly
to manipulate
paperwork and people

so know one sees placements or scheduling or records

by doctors or nurses named cooper
or their wrinkled friends with the all important
rings of belonging

the officer has his family ring too
so I don't waste too much time
talking about


justice

someone laughs about a scan being replaced
conspiracy
yes
a few million denari

all we have to do is
get our
"friend"
to lay in the machine right after

What he doesn't know will kill him


I'm telling you all right now
a doctor named cooper diagnosed me with cancer in my abdomen more than 2 years ago, a crucial amount of time. But he never informed me of that.

and the CT of me at VGH diamond centre
I have it
it isn't mine

crucial minute differences
if you don't have the correct information
you can't easily get a cure
can you?

Trust them
they say to me
just trust

the doctors



Every individual is equal before and under the law and has the right to the equal protection and equal benefit of the law without discrimination
- so says the media friendly bullshit of canadian "law"

The Society of Cruelty and Misery

I was watching one of those sci fi utopias
Star Trek.
All the pretty people in leotards, nobody sick

when they get sick the doctor shows them what's wrong
in full hi-rez widescreen
then fixes it

I look at our society

all the people
hobbling, limping, squinting, broken teeth or backs or hips

not enough money
to buy
painkillers/medicine/...

We actually have the resources to health
for all people
and their pets

but we would surround ourselves with suffering
rather than take our eyes off of the Holy Profit

I watch dogs scratching
Fleas are a big problem in B.C.
but a dose of flea control is $20
even though it was manufactured for 5 cents
there are a lot of people that can't afford that extra $19.50
of Holy Profit

People die in Canada all the time
of curable treatable things

even worse I see people
in pain for years
when the prescription drugs and surgery they need

is in

abundance

it just "costs" more than they can afford

We have become a strange society
of cruelty and misery

cannibal slaves in the garbage heaps below the robber-barons castles

My dog is hurt
money

I am hurt
it shouldn't cost money
but really
that's why I'm not fixed

no money
no money or justice

all these sick people

laughing nurses

I remember the laughing
fucking cunts

(is that
inappropriate?)

directed laughter
they were laughing

cruelly

pretending to be busy

"Oh that's just the way it is
we're not sure what really is happening"

the man was dying

he had been in the bed almost 6 months
he walked into the hospital
something fairly routine

a "mistake" was made

he couldn't get out of bed then
couldn't eat

laughing nurses

I explain to them
the reality
he could eat before the operation
something wrong
someone needs to look

when they finally do
at my insistence
they find an
"accidental"
crimping of the tube
they inserted

accidental

the man should have walked away
5 days after his surgery

he spends 5 months nearly dying

laughing nurses everyday
he was intersex

do you realize that the only reason
they went back and looked and fixed him
was because I told them
their life was as long as his?

modern medicine could
repair me
in a day

would it be a good day
to die?

we have become savages
whores and slaves for credits
miseries forgotten or reveled in
for a handful
of denari

Tech

I have a few tech items I want to throw at you
I was once going to have a separate tech blog, art blog, justice/philosophy blog

now it's a big mush
maybe one day sorted
a record of what I'm not sure
more than likely to disappear down the memory hole


Game that held my attention more than 3 days of this year:
Deus Ex - Human Revolution.
if you don't care about gfx and dig the "interactive", "non linear", and rpg aspects of the Deus Ex world, the previous one, invisible war, was pretty good.
My machine started chugging almost at once with the new one, and I actually had to crank it down to cartoonlike levels to play it,
but I like inventory management, and it really sucks playing games where you just kill everybody. It's not a part of my daily life, killing everybody, but our modern media trains us to it young.
My first 3 run throughs I killed the entire precinct on the mission, before realizing I could just talk to the front desk clerk.
There are some interactive bits that makes me feel like I'm strapped to a chair with the Diana Troy intoning "I sense some hostility, Cap..."

The Path
A game without any clear purpose. It seems. But nothing is really what it seems in this claustrophobic ramble in the woods. Beautiful music, reminds me of Pooka.
I keep playing it. I actually suggest you don't read the wikipedia article on it, because the game's purpose is really a slowly told creepy interactive set of stories about - rape/murder/childhood/molestation/exploring. It's really soothing. Pretty. Disturbing. Haunting. Sad. Messed up. Original.


Other cool things:

Nevercenter Silo
The coolest, fastest, most streamlined and responsive 3D subdivision modelling application I've ever used. No animation, its just sub-d modelling with everything you need and nothing extra in your way.
It's so fast with complex models it makes me shiver with glee.
really, I was shivering with glee, it totally rocks.
mix it up with Pixologic's ZBrush and you wont want to look at Maya without a gun to your head for modelling.

Virtualbox
In the Time of Terabytes we don't give a crap that our OS is a bloated POS taking up 8G of space. If you are a Tech you need to run many different operating systems, if you're a Geek, you probably have used vbox for years.
Run any server or desktop OS inside a window with full network support.
I stopped using VMware when it became 450 megs, this is 30 or so and its free.
Vbox can also fire up vmware disk images.

Q-Dir
It's free. I'm in love with it. You use it instead of "my computer" or explorer.
multiple customizable panes and tabs to all your folders with saved layouts recalled almost instantaneously. If you have a bazillion things to sort, or lots and lots of folders and different projects, this little program will save you so much time. Donate to the guy, I'm dying on skid row courtesy of the CIA, so I can't.
8P

UDK
I fell in love with level design a long time ago after realizing a certain groundbreaking company had given me the tools to build that they had used.
Fast forward 20 years, and instead of the pixelated ogres of Quake, we have full normal mapping and real time previews.
UDK lets you build a number of game styles. Out of the box you can start building environments similiar to Unreal Tournament or Gears of War. Adding enemies and bots takes more effort, but with patience the entire toolset is available and you can start building immediately. Excellent documentation, good file importing, and you can mix it up with extensive static meshes created in your favorite 3D prog
It's free.

Windirstat
Want to know what's taking up all the space on a drive or in a folder?
Windirstat to the rescue. I've been using it on windows 7 x64.
It literally kicks ass. Tiny program from portableapps.com
shows you visually and lets you delete by looking for the big chunks!
Weirdest name ever, but a great tool.

Sony Vegas
Mac has Final Cut. Windows has... finally something decent.
I love AfterFX but dislike Premiere. Vegas is based on a Sonic Foundry product  I used to use for multitracking music. Now it's the nicest software video editing suite for a pro on PC. Expensive but nice and very responsive. Excellent codec support.

Malwarebytes, Avast, and Ccleaner
The first 3 programs you should put on any computer you are trying to clean up from virii or other buggy activity

Unetbootin
It makes flash drives that will boot up to linux. It supports a dozen distributions, and has multipurpose bootloaders that can detect other OS on the HD. Create custom live disks and tool disks with a bit of extra effort.

Trueimage
Techs usually use Ghost, I like Trueimage because it's special boot disk is linux based and excellent at autofinding shares and mounting various usb devices for backing up the target machine. It can save to FTP. It will image 'nix filesystems.
What does it do?
for the non-geeks, it's a drive imager. For backing up. You set your machine up the way you like it, get it all perfect, then make a disk image.
Installed inside windows it can image your machine while you use it, and when you machine dies, the boot disk can start it to retrieve your backup from any number of storage options.

ctupdate/wsus offline
Do you ever need to update a machine that doesn't have the internet?
Or you have 90k/s and your machine wants to dl almost 2 gigs before it will get back to work?
ctupdate downloads all the patches for whatever version of windows you want and creates an update/patch/servicepack disk.
Using this will sometimes fix an xp installation,
since it goes through every update and can be forced to reinstall, it will catch that one update that just didn't work properly and upon which everything else is hanging.
Can save you from reinstalling a wratched machine.

Filezilla FTP client and server/Quick n'easy ftp server
Portable versions available, and lots of similiar products. Maybe people will one day realize that using standard file sharing in any OS is a  sloooooow transfer. So. Step back ten years, put filezilla server on one machine and client on the other . Suddenly that 2 hours file transfer between two computers in the same house becomes 20 minutes. Keeps me from resorting to sneakernet in small lan environments.

marriage cults vs. behavioral reality - christianized marriage laws entrenched in legal and administrative hegemony force all other concepts of marriage to be criminalized

Remember the beginning of that "Braveheart" movie?

Where the "lord" had the right to fuck his wife before him?
Because that was the law right.
She wasn't allowed to wear the scarf that showed she was married to someone
because all marriages had to be before the "authority"
and when the couple applied to get married

the Lords of the area,
and their sons
the rich

had the right to fuck her first.

I was thinking of another situation
today
a Celtic couple

and found the parallels, now
to be so glaring and disturbing

I was also thinking
in conjunction

of an article I was working on
about what christian churches are really about

colonialization

making sure families give to the church
instead of all those sinful undeserving other people in your life
so the people of the conquered land
give their money
to the church

instead of helping each other grow
as strong
as the kings

You cannot create or fuck
unless the kings have an opportunity to profit off you first

That's what money does
combined with "law"
and christian controlled administrations

permits
you are not

permitted

you must submit your application
to the kings

and the "Law" of liars,
who swear on black books of mythology

Marriage cults are strange things.
They work, but not for everyone

for the majority of us
they don't work well at all
yet, like most things

ten percent
order the other 90 percent around
and rob them

"Magical Thinking"

Psychology is the new tool of the modern Inquisition
defining all spiritual experience outside of the predominant christian cultural bias as “madness” or more commonly, the pejorative “schizophrenia”

Please keep in mind this work is a WIP
and I’ve been working on it over 3 weeks
so it’s changing
significantly
and probably will for another few weeks

“Magical Thinking” is a criteria of assessment for a number of thought “disorders” listed in the DSM-IV
These assessment tools are routinely used against poor people with a consistent (planned) lack of adequate legal or medical representation.

What is magical thinking?
This “empirical” criteria
for which we can be Burned
until we submit
that our minds
are in “error” ?

Big topic really. Very wide.
covers a LOT of things

making it an excellent “blanket” label to pharmaceuticalize someone with

So let’s define the sub-headings which are below the label of “magical thought”

1. Manifestation of Will and Desire
2. Synchronicity and Fate
3. Telepathy
4. Etheric projection, shared mental spaces and interactions
5. Visualizations, meditations, self transformations
6. Manipulation of chi/life energy with thought/will/action
7. Manipulation of objects with thought

we could also add other concepts such as spiritual marriage vs. physical marriage, which would also be a kind of “Magical Thinking”, but since the christians espouse it, it’s usually conveniently overlooked unless the person talking about it is a non-christian. Then it would be crazy of course.

The first 2 and the last numbered one, are, in my own personal view
a lot of crap. But I’ll explain, gradually.

the other 4 are all aspects of spiritual expression found in numerous faiths, even “christianity” and certain spiritualized forms of atheism.

so let’s focus mostly on christianized versions of these “madness” indicators

1. Manifestation of Will and Desire

So the “christian” version of this is called “prayer” sometimes, but it is different from many other forms of prayer or meditation in that you have a specific selfish goal.

This is where you visualize yourself “having” something that you don’t actually have. Then when it “suddenly” materializes or “manifests” you have some form of “synchronicity” or “fate” to revel over for “providing” for you.

Fucking shite.
Usually when I hear some little witchy going on about manifestation,
it makes me want to hurl

because this is the “truth” about the”secret” of “manifestation”

it’s crap. It sold bazillions of new age dvd’s, but..
unless you’re a hot hippy chick with gorgeous boobs and no bra and you’re flailing all about with your “the world is full of love” fucking shite
then,
yeah
a whole fucking lot of cool good shit is going to “manifest” for you
it doesn’t work for everyone that way.
believe me.

What does it mean for the average joe?

It’s really a sort of “mind networking” concept.
You see, Belief #3 is the real working principle

You have people around you,
they know you are looking for this thing/object/person/job
you keep looking for this thing
the more other people in your group
the more potential matchmakers there are for you and your passionate goal

If you are all positive and uplifting and hopeful
it’s easier to get others interested

anything you do as an interaction with people using words
you can do as well using the technique of Belief #4 with your group

If you don’t have a “group”, it’s time to start thinking of who you already use the techniques of Belief #3 with on a regular basis

or of course go read a book
because that usually plugs your brain up enough to stop
talking to shadows
silently

So let’s continue.

2. Synchronicity and Fate

I don’t even want to go into this one too much

except to say
bullshit. Fuck fate.

Really
Just fuck it all to Hell
“fate” is usually a current justification for “consequences” of “the past”
fate is similiar to the christian concept of
“all sinners go to hell”

which is more crap

You can observe and observe,
and yeah, sometimes things line up
but predestination
is really
really
really

dumb

3. Telepathy

Ok.

so now we get to something REAL.

This is actually what 90% of religious wars and oppression
centuries of misery
this is what it’s all about.

You can hold a conversation on two or more levels.

That’s reality.

You can’t sift through someone’s memories or thoughts, usually
but if you love them
or hate them
you can hold a conversation
underneath the conversation

right?
not just:

pheremonal signals generated throughout the conversation
which you could consciously generate or visual cues

but straight up underlying conversations and….
long conversations with people
you can’t walk to
but love enough
to talk to

4. Etheric projection, shared mental spaces and interactions

This is the Big Secret
wrapped in a
story

You could walk
and walk
and climb
and climb to get to the old man’s hut
the old yoda on the mountain guy

but he will just send you back

you weren’t supposed to walk
you were supposed to just

Go
to him

This is where we come to the incubus/succubus part as well
for you demon lover freakazoids

Succubi and incubi make a lot of sense, really.
just…hear me out first. Really

If you can see and feel and project
and you have a lot of love for someone
you can communicate across a distance
including touch and visual representation

Hmmm.

Jerk off thinking of someone you TRULY LOVE works at the start
That’s why jerking off is a “SIN”"
because if you love them and they love you
you might realize theres not just masturbation
but
COMMUNICATION
occurring…sometimes

and if you say that you love someone fully
but you don’t have this etheric connection
try jerking off thinking of someone else

honestly
that’s the trick to it
and
the Purpose of it

Christianity tries to demonize the process (especially the jerking off part)

Incubi and Succubi
are humans trying different lovers out
before settling on the ones
that make them feel

more than human
like treeman or tree woman
or flame people
or two dragons, or cats or something
fucking

that would be a good mate for a while
really
regardless of the car/house/moola/suit/dick size situation

most sects or systems that demonize this form of communication between people
and focuses on the energy drainage and time wasted by engaging in this form of communication to the exclusion of actually being true lovers and then still end up being spiritually divorced because of societal pressures based on religion designed to break such connections between people

you can waste a lot of time interacting with someone this way
if they aren’t honest
so test them early in RL

this also explains the christian/monotheist assertion that a binary couple is supposed to be lifelong, though in truth this is a minority configuration
more lovers = more close communication = OMG I can actually communicate this way with a lot of people = OMG is this god dude real?
playing inccubi/succubi is considered a “gateway” behavior to more advanced witchiness and demon consorting.

Daemon. I’m going to tackle the demonology in more detail in the future,
but really, the origins of demons are in humanity itself
grown into a horrifying fear
from the metaphorical communication of Aspects
which it embodies

this strong connection doesn’t have to be one man and one woman
like the christians are always on about
threesomes really are fine

and many sects
seem to get along
with the idea that if everyone fucks
they’ll all be mentally connected together

its a bit much for me but some people think its grand

but it’s easier to keep the dynamic of 2
and the male-female polarity plays some part
but everyone can find someone to interact with
that brings this out in them

So the basis of the xtian concept of this magic
is a “in theory”
that 2 mates should be in constant connection with each other
kind of hard in the modern world
but it can be done

whether its an “eternal” thing
or a few years
a deeper multilayer spiritual connection
and communication bond
the xtians
basically have the same form of “magic”

its just
legislated
chained to one form
disconnected from its higher
forms and aspects

I will even go
a teeny deeper into this
and say
that in my extensive wanderings perusings and musings on the ass sex taboo and its place in christianity and other more orthodox religions

I’ve come
to the conclusion
that many sects
believe
that ass sex
increases telepathy
and the ability to project an etheric self

not just in the act,
but as an after effect
of the “dirty deed”
I’m actually not kidding
I know its a bit much to swallow
butt I swear it is the Truth

so help me…

back to our topic:

most people are dead
in their minds about this

I figure some people can see better, some hear better, some feel better
just like some people are better with cars, or basketball, or spatial reasoning

some can visualize a secondary layer of metaphorical/symbolical/spiritual/energy/chi

I was trying to measure the “usefulness” of meditation or “spiritual insight” or “etheric visualization” or “etheric projection”

Now.

The Christians and Muslims, and many other formal religions

specifically call this a Sin and make it such a vile practice that it even permeates their practices of Psychology. Hence the Incubbi/Succubi/demon lover stories to fill you with fear. So if someone who loves you pops up in your bed at night you’ll run around screaming and babbling about witches and demons instead of getting it on and realizing you might have found a good partner match.

Don’t want that. The congregation you are part of will almost always try to break up couples(or threesome) that have this kind of connection.

Which kind of makes you understand how IMPORTANT they view it.

Pagans of most nations view it as of Positive importance and an aspect of personal spiritual practice. Many people do.

Not necessarily the jerking off part, mind you

See that’s just where the realization comes from.

That you suddenly aren’t alone, you’re interacting with someone that wants to interact not just the pictures you started with.

and eventually you maybe realize,
when you’re drinking your tea
that you can have other kinds of conversations in this multilayered medium of visualization, and visionary beauty.

Deep, conference call style interactions, with different costumes start to emerge
within the mental space
of your
“meditation”

and that is why you must
always
always
hurry
and be harried
and talked to

or you will start to talk amongst yourselves
quietly

5. Visualizations, meditations, self transformations

Do these kind of things have value?
People pay a lot of money to go to seminars and stuff
and its all labelled “healthy” and “healing”
are they all nuts?

Visualization of “energies”
in yoga, tantra, meditations

books and books and books
and DVD’s
all talk about humans visualizing various energies

Why aren’t those authors all locked up?
Why don’t the mental health authorities bust in
and round up these madmen and women?
I guess it’s not that crazy after all.

Animism isn’t dead
its just finally being understood
the “animal totems”
are visionary experiences of yourself
as another form
taking on some of its qualities and thought processes

as a human ability
it only requires
practice

The LaVeyans have their “wolf” transformation
but maybe you’re not really a wolf
maybe you find it easier becoming a tree
or a deer, panther, lion, satyr, firehuman, dragon, owl, etc.

are you really a tree?
obviously not
but still,
you stretch your branches up,
and roots down

and sip your tea
its not crazy
people have been doing it
for thousands of years!

What benefit it has to you
is up to you to discern
but try these visualizations

while you make out with another person that you see that in them
for some stupendous results

and compare to the written accounts
of the concept called “godforming”
you could follow those instructions
of the theosophist, GD, and masons
and “become” various egyptian deities
whichever one is closest to your being

but myself
I detest egyptian based magic
so you might consider
aiming for a celtic, nordic, hindi, or greek pantheon
to pull your
Ishta Devi
from

These experiences in visualization or “visionary states”

can definitely induce sickness
especially if your world view is rigid

but try reading
“the varieties of religious experience”
by William James

It might help

and I would caution you
to not drive a vehicle
for a few days after you first achieve self visualizing results of any magnitude

it could be messy

you also might find yourself
susceptible to mind games or manipulation
that’s why people do this shit in a quiet place
and avoid others for a little while
other than their lovers or other quiet peers

6. Manipulation of chi/life energy with thought/will/action
This is really an extension of Belief #5

7. Manipulation of objects with thought
This is pretty much
the Bohunk Daddy of all Bohunks.
Fucking crap

you can’t manipulate objects
you can manipulate situations, people,
and in some very focused instances
you can manipulate fields slightly

you can’t actually move objects with your mind
It would be nice
to be able to send all the butcher knives flying at your mom
like Carrie
but the shit doesn’t work like that

Remember
this thing is still a WIP
(Work in Progress)
and its a messy one at that